Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.

The first man, an engineer, had a dog named “T-Square”. The second man, an accountant, had a dog named “Slide-Rule”. The third man, a chemist, had a dog called “Measure”. The fourth man was a Union member having a dog named “Coffee Break”.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog, “T-Square, do your stuff.” T-Square trotted over to a desk and, with a pen, promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle onto some paper.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good. The accountant, though, insisted his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, “Slide Rule, do your stuff.”

Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He proceeded to divide the cookies into four equal piles of three each.

Everyone agreed that too was pretty good. The chemist, though, proclaimed that his dog could do even better. He called his dog and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard, and then poured exactly eight ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good, as well. Then, they all turned to the Union member and said, “Hey, pal, what can your dog do?” The Union member stood up, called his dog, and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.”

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper, screwed the other three dogs, claimed he’d injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers’ Compensation, and then went home on sick leave.