Wife and Girlfriend

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a girlfriend.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his girlfriend, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, I like both.

Both? they asked.

Engineer: Yeah. If you have a wife and a girlfriend, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.

Salary Theorem

“Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People.”

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

  1. Knowledge is Power.
  2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:

  • Power = Work / Time

Since:

  • Knowledge = Power
  • Time = Money

It follows that:

  • Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

  • Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:

  • The less you know, the more you make.

Source Code of Windows XP

Some people have hacked into Microsoft and stolen their Windows XP code and here it is. I am sure that they would love any improvements for the next version.

#include
#include
#include

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

main()
{
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
set_wait_states(lots);

set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);

printf("Welcome to Windoze 3.999 (we might get it right
or just call it Chicargo)n");

if (system_OK())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

while(1) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
if (rand() < 0.9)
crash(complete_system);
}
return(unrecoverable_system);
}
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