The software doesn’t just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.
1. The programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. The product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. The programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t bugs.
4. The testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. The original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. The newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. The original programmer sends the underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. The entire testing department quits.
16. The company is bought in a hostile takeover by a competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. THE new CEO is brought in by the board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo the program from scratch.
18. The programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
