The Smoking Power Supply

I used to work in a computer store and one day we had a gentleman call in with a smoking power supply. The service representative was having a bit of trouble convincing this guy that he had a hardware problem.

Service Rep: Sir, something has burned within your power supply.

Customer: I bet that there is some command that I can put into the AUTOEXEC.BAT file that will take care of this.

Service Rep: There is nothing that software can do to help you with this problem.

Customer: I know that there is something I can put in… some command… maybe it should go into the CONFIG.SYS.

[After a few minutes of going round and round]

Service Rep: Okay, I am not supposed to tell anyone this but there is a hidden command in some versions of DOS that you can use. I want you to edit your AUTOEXEC.BAT and add the last line as C:DOSNOSMOKE and reboot your computer.

[Customer does this]

Customer: It is still smoking.

Service Rep: I guess you’ll need to call Microsoft and ask them for a patch for the NOSMOKE.EXE.

[The customer then hung up. We thought that we had heard the last of this guy. But NO; he calls back four hours later!]

Service Rep: Hello, Sir, how is your computer?

Customer: I called Microsoft and they said that my power supply is incompatible with their NOSMOKE.EXE and that I need to get a new one. I was wondering when I can have that done and how much it will cost….

The Smoking Power Supply
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Technical Support Gone Mad

Tecnical Support: “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with Power Point.”

TEC Support: “What sort of trouble?”
Customer: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

TEC Support: “Went away?”
Customer: “They disappeared.”

TEC Support: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
Customer: “Nothing.”

TEC Support: “Nothing?”
Customer: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”

TEC Support: “Are you still in Power Point, or did you get out?”
Customer: “How do I tell?”

TEC Support: “Can you see the “C” prompt on the screen?”
Customer: “What’s a sea-prompt?”

TEC Support: “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
Customer: “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”

TEC Support: “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
Customer: “What’s a monitor?”

TEC Support: “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
Customer: “I don’t know.”

TEC Support: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
Customer: “…Yes, I think so.”

TEC Support: “Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
Customer: “…Yes, it is.”

TEC Support: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
Customer: “No.”

TEC Support: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Customer: “…Okay, here it is.”

TEC Support: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Customer: “I can’t reach.”

TEC Support: “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
Customer: “No.”

TEC Support: “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
Customer: “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle-it’s because it’s dark.”

TEC Support: “Dark?”
Customer: “Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”

TEC Support: “Well, turn on the office light then.”
Customer: “I can’t.”

TEC Support: “No? Why not?”
Customer: “Because there’s a power outage.”

TEC Support: “A power… a power outage? Aha! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
Customer: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”

TEC Support: “Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Customer: “Really? Is it that bad?”

TEC Support: “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
Customer: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”

TEC Support: “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”

Technical Support Gone Mad
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Source Code of Windows XP

Some people have hacked into Microsoft and stolen their Windows XP code and here it is. I am sure that they would love any improvements for the next version.

#include
#include
#include

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

main()
{
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
set_wait_states(lots);

set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);

printf("Welcome to Windoze 3.999 (we might get it right
or just call it Chicargo)n");

if (system_OK())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

while(1) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
if (rand() < 0.9)
crash(complete_system);
}
return(unrecoverable_system);
}
Source Code of Windows XP
5 (100%) 1 vote