Source Code of Windows XP

Some people have hacked into Microsoft and stolen their Windows XP code and here it is. I am sure that they would love any improvements for the next version.

#include
#include
#include

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

main()
{
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
set_wait_states(lots);

set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);

printf("Welcome to Windoze 3.999 (we might get it right
or just call it Chicargo)n");

if (system_OK())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

while(1) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
if (rand() < 0.9)
crash(complete_system);
}
return(unrecoverable_system);
}
Source Code of Windows XP
5 (100%) 1 vote

Marrying a Software Engineer

This is a warning for women planning to marry software engineers in the form of a conversation between a husband (software engineer) and his wife. Look before you leap!!!

SCENE: A wife is waiting for her husband who is a software engineer. After
some time, the husband arrives.
HUSBAND: (Opening the door and entering in) Hi dear! I am LOGGED IN.

WIFE: Thanks god that you have arrived. Have you brought the Saree (an Indian dress)?
HUSBAND: BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.

WIFE: But I told you about it in the morning.
HUSBAND: ERRONEOUS SYNTAX. ABORT, RETRY, CANCEL.

WIFE: O my God…. Ok forget it. Tell me where’s your salary?
HUSBAND: FILE IN USE, READ ONLY,TRY AFTER SOME TIME.

WIFE: At least give me your credit card. So that I can do some shopping.
HUSBAND: SHARING VIOLATION. ACCESS DENIED.

WIFE: I made a mistake in marrying you.
HUSBAND: DATA TYPE MISMATCH.

WIFE: You are useless.
HUSBAND: BY DEFAULT.

WIFE: Who was there in the car with you this morning?
HUSBAND: SYSTEM UNSTABLE. PRESS ANY KEY TO REBOOT.

WIFE: Ok. leave it. Would you like to have some snacks?
HUSBAND: HARD DISK FULL.

WIFE: What is the relation between you and your receptionist?
HUSBAND: THE ONLY USER WITH RIGHT PERMISSION.

WIFE: What is my value in your life?
HUSBAND: UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED!!!

WIFE: Do you love me or your computer?
HUSBAND: TOO MANY PARAMETERS.

WIFE: I will go to my dad’s house!!!
HUSBAND: PROGRAMME PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION. IT WILL
CLOSE.

WIFE: I will leave you for ever!!!
HUSBAND: CLOSE ALL PROGRAMMES AND LOG IN FOR ANOTHER
USER.

WIFE: It is worthless talking to you husband. Shut down the computer.
WIFE: I am going.
HUSBAND: ITS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.

Marrying a Software Engineer
4 (80%) 1 vote