Bomb in a Plane

A man gets on a plane with his dog.
“You can’t bring a dog on this plane”, says the stewardess!
“But this dog is special,” says the passenger, “he’s a sniffer dog.”
“Prove it”, says the stewardess.
The man clicks his fingers and the dog runs off down the plane. After a minute, the dog reappears, jumps on his lap, and licks his left cheek.
“What’s that mean?” says the stewardess.
“It means there are drugs on board.” says the man.
“What else can he do?”
The man clicks his fingers & the dog runs off again.
He reappears, & jumps up and licks his right cheek.
“What’s that mean?” says the stewardess.
“It means there’s a gun aboard,” says the man.
“Oh dear!” says the stewardess. That’s a bit more serious. “Can he do anything else?”
The man sends the dog off again. This time, he comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat, and craps all over the place “Whatever does that mean?” says the stewardess.
The man nervously replies, “Sniffer just found a bomb…”

Announcement for Leaving Passengers

As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.

Teaching a Child

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. “Excuse me, General,” she asks quietly, “but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose.”

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