Check Your Mail Box

A man was sitting on his porch one afternoon when he noticed that his neighbor, went out to her mailbox, opened it, and returned to her home empty-handed.

About five minutes later, he saw the woman again. She checked the mailbox and once again, returned to her house empty-handed.

She did this two more times before the man decided to ask her about it. “Why do you keep coming out to your mailbox every five minutes?” the man asked.

“Because,” replied the woman, “my computer keeps telling me that I’ve got mail!”

Computer’s Sign of Old Age

What is the computer’s first sign of old age?
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.
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Loss of memory.

Computer Terminology for the Layman

Apple – Gravity Fruit

Barcode – Rules at the local pub

Baud – Beach crowd obsession

Boot Up – Dress for snowy weather

Bug – Old Volkswagen

Bus – Cheaper than an airplane

Byte – What the dog did to the mail carrier

Cache – No checks accepted

Chip – A type of chocolate used in baking

Computer Terminal – Call a mortician

Crash – Attend a party uninvited

Diskette – Brief disco

FAX – What a criminal investigator wants

Garbage In/Garbage Out – A day at the sanitary landfill

Hacker – Cough drop user

Hard Copy – Tabloid T.V. show

IBM – In Between Marriages

Mac – Everyone’s favorite fast food

Megahertz – Take Tylenol and codeine

Modem – Why the lawns look so good

Mouse pad – Disneyland

Novell – An international peace prize

On-line – Sobriety test

Optic Fiber – Vision improving food with bulk

PC – Politically Correct

Programmer – English teacher’s attitude

Remote – Change the watch around the castle

ROM – Capital of Italy

Serial Port – Breakfast wine

Silicon Valley – Where breast implants are made

Superconductor – Railroad employee of the month

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