Windows 2000 Error Messages

1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

3. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

6. Windows message “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”

7. To “shut down” your system, type “WIN”

8. BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.

9. COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup in the cup holder and press any key.

10. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

11. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

12. Runtime Error 6D at 417A32CF Incompetent User.

13. Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

14. WinErr 16547 LPT1 was not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)

15. User Error. Replace user.

16. Windows VirusScan 1.0 – “Windows found. Remove it? (Y/N)”‘

17. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.

Computer Acronyms

PCMCIA – People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN – It Still Does Nothing
APPLE – Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI – System Can’t See It
DOS – Defective Operating System
BASIC – Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM – I Blame Microsoft
DEC – Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM – Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 – Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW – World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH – Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM – Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL – Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA – A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP – Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS – Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS – Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
GIRO – Garbage In Rubbish Out
MICROSOFT – Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

Dictionary: Windows 95 Defined

Windows 95: n. 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company, that can’t stand a single bit of competition.

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