First Aid Training

Manager: How come you’re late?

Man: It was awful, explains I was walking down Mall road and there was this terrible accident.

One man was lying in the middle of the road.

He’d been thrown from his car.

His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere.

Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute.

Manager: What did you do?

Man: I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep myself from fainting.

Project Manager

Three men: A Project Manager, a Software Engineer, and a Hardware Engineer are in Miami beach for a two-week period helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp.

As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says ‘Normally I would grant you 3 wishes, but since there are 3 of you, I will grant you each one wish.’

The hardware engineer went first. ‘I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me.’ The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.

The software engineer went next. ‘I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean, with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me.’ The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.

Last, but not least, it was the project manager’s turn. ‘And what would your wish be?’ asked the genie. ‘I want them both back after lunch’ replied the project manager.

Three Companies After Me

“I must have a raise,” the employee said to his boss. “There are three other companies after me.”

“Really?” the boss asked. “What other companies are after you?”

“The gas company, the telephone company, and the electricity company,” the employee replied.

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