College Seniors vs. Freshman

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.

Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.

Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.

Freshman: Calls the professor “Teacher.”
Senior: Calls the professor “Bob.”

Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it’s more than three blocks away.

Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor’s habits to get a good grade.

Freshman: Know a book–full of useless trivia–about the university.
Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually.

Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.

Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.
Senior: Has his ‘own’ personal workstation.

Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October…maybe.

Freshman: Looks forward to the first classes of the year.
Senior: Looks forward to the first beer garden of the year.

Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm.
Senior: Is proud of not *quite* failing his Complex Analysis midterm.

Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every night.
Senior: Calls Domino’s every other night.

Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of profs.
Senior: Is appalled that the campus Subway burnt down over the summer.

Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions.
Senior: Offers to ‘tutor’ conscientious frosh of the opposite sex.

Freshman: Goes on the grocery-shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus.
Senior: Has a beer with Mom before moving into group house.

Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one’s horizons and really make a contribution to society.
Senior: Is excited about the new dryers in the laundry room.

Freshman: Takes meticulous four-colour notes in class.
Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class