Archives for November 2020

Check Your Mail Box

A man was sitting on his porch one afternoon when he noticed that his neighbor, went out to her mailbox, opened it, and returned to her home empty-handed.

About five minutes later, he saw the woman again. She checked the mailbox and once again, returned to her house empty-handed.

She did this two more times before the man decided to ask her about it. “Why do you keep coming out to your mailbox every five minutes?” the man asked.

“Because,” replied the woman, “my computer keeps telling me that I’ve got mail!”

Loss of Cabin Pressure

An Announcement made by an airline attendant:

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face.

If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.

And if you are traveling with two or more small children, decide now which one you love more.

Derby Horse

A jogger running down a country road is startled as a horse yells at him “Hey-come overhear buddy”.

The jogger is stunned but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks”Were you talking to me”?

The horse replies”Sure was, man I’ve got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plow and I’m sick of it. Why don’t your run-up to the house and offer him $5,000 to buy me? I’ll make you some money ‘cuz I can still run.”

The jogger thought to himself, “boy a talking horse” Dollar signs started appearing in his head. So he runs to the house and the old farmer is sitting on the porch. The jogger tells the farmer”Hey man, I’ll give you $5,000 for that old broken down nag you’ve got in the field”.

The farmer replies, “Son you can’t believe anything that horse says. He’s never even been to Kentucky.”

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