Archives for July 2018

Polar Bear

One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son polar bear were sitting in the snow.

The son polar bear turned to his father and asked, “Dad, am I 100% polar bear?”

“Of course, son, you’re 100% polar bear.”

A few minutes pass, and the baby polar bear turns to his father again and says, “Dad, tell me the truth. I can take it. Am I 100% polar bear? No brown bear or panda bear or grizzly bear?”

“Son, I’m 100% polar bear and your mother is 100% polar bear, so you’re certainly 100% polar bear.”

A few more minutes pass, and the baby polar bear again turns to his father and says, “Dad, don’t think your sparing my feelings if it’s not true. I really need to know… am I really 100% polar bear?”

Distressed by this continued questioning, the father polar bear finally asked his son, “Why do you keep asking if you’re 100% polar bear?”

“Because I’m freezing to death out here!”

Bill Gates Changing a Light Bulb

Q: How the Bill Gates changes a light bulb?

A: He holds the bulb in place and lets the world revolve around him.

Marrying a Software Engineer

This is a warning for women planning to marry software engineers in the form of a conversation between a husband (software engineer) and his wife. Look before you leap!!!

SCENE: A wife is waiting for her husband who is a software engineer. After
some time, the husband arrives.
HUSBAND: (Opening the door and entering in) Hi dear! I am LOGGED IN.

WIFE: Thanks god that you have arrived. Have you brought the Saree (an Indian dress)?
HUSBAND: BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.

WIFE: But I told you about it in the morning.
HUSBAND: ERRONEOUS SYNTAX. ABORT, RETRY, CANCEL.

WIFE: O my God…. Ok forget it. Tell me where’s your salary?
HUSBAND: FILE IN USE, READ ONLY,TRY AFTER SOME TIME.

WIFE: At least give me your credit card. So that I can do some shopping.
HUSBAND: SHARING VIOLATION. ACCESS DENIED.

WIFE: I made a mistake in marrying you.
HUSBAND: DATA TYPE MISMATCH.

WIFE: You are useless.
HUSBAND: BY DEFAULT.

WIFE: Who was there in the car with you this morning?
HUSBAND: SYSTEM UNSTABLE. PRESS ANY KEY TO REBOOT.

WIFE: Ok. leave it. Would you like to have some snacks?
HUSBAND: HARD DISK FULL.

WIFE: What is the relation between you and your receptionist?
HUSBAND: THE ONLY USER WITH RIGHT PERMISSION.

WIFE: What is my value in your life?
HUSBAND: UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED!!!

WIFE: Do you love me or your computer?
HUSBAND: TOO MANY PARAMETERS.

WIFE: I will go to my dad’s house!!!
HUSBAND: PROGRAMME PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION. IT WILL
CLOSE.

WIFE: I will leave you for ever!!!
HUSBAND: CLOSE ALL PROGRAMMES AND LOG IN FOR ANOTHER
USER.

WIFE: It is worthless talking to you husband. Shut down the computer.
WIFE: I am going.
HUSBAND: ITS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.

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